48462

Joke of the Day

"Interviewer: ""What's your greatest accomplishment?"" Me: ""I was in a lot of people's MySpace Top 8s back in 2004."""

"A reporter asked Lil Wayne how sure was he that he contracted HIV. He said 100% positive"

"Do you know why turds are tapered? So your butt hole doesn't slam shut."

"My friends dog just died, he told me he wanted another one just like him... ...why whould you want another dead dog?"

"When someone loves you a lot they will buy you a burrito even when you're not hungry so you can get fat and no one else will love you."

"Time = Money because you SPEND it!"

"Hey Joe, don't think we can use this ad. Why not? We're roofers. Yes, but ""Hot shingles in your area looking to get nailed"" seems extreme."

"Shout out to bicyclists that yell ""on your left"" as they pass me so I know which arm to clothesline them with."

"Welcome to the Sexual Innuendo Club Thank you all for coming."

"So if they were called the Mario Bros., that means Mario's last name was Mario?"