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Joke of the Day

"my agent sent me a list of my followers & circled all crude avatars in red ink. if i dont block these people it WILL cost me the Arby's deal"

"Everybody at the party got upset when Baby Jesus turned the wine into breast milk."

"Before you judge somebody, you should walk a mile in their shoes.. That way you're a mile away from them, and you have their shoes."

"Why did the car judder to a stop when it saw a ghost? It had a nervous breakdown."

"What do you call an orang-utan which has been in the sun for too long? An OranguTAN!"

"I would walk barefoot over hot koalas for you."

"Who doesn't want to be a millionaire? Well, certainly not a billionaire."

"What do you call a prostitute with her hands down her skirt? Self employed"

"The Nintendo 64 turns 18 this week... Which means you can now legally blow the cartridges."

"Two books arm wrestle. One ruptures is appendix, the other helps him rebind it."