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Joke of the Day

"Everybody at the party got upset when Baby Jesus turned the wine into breast milk."

"Home alone tonight The fridge is making weird noises I think the beer wants out...."

"I went for a ride on my Vespa and nearly got hit by a Prius. That would've gone down in history as the gayest wreck EVER."

"What's the hardest part of making a vegan pizza? Skinning the vegan."

"Why didn't Hitler talk to Jews? He had Auschwitzim"

"The only ""b"" word you should call a girl is beautiful. Bitches love to be called beautiful."

"I'm 12 feet taller than my grandparents. I'm 6 feet tall and they're 6 feet under."

"I'm Absolutely Certain by R. U. Sure"

"Why are test tube manufacturers always single? People just seem to find them vial!"

"You get to sleep all day, cat, that's why I get the good food."