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Joke of the Day

"My wife is all, ""we love each other so much we finish each other's sentences,"" until it comes to a prison sentence."

"Pedophiles really get on my nerves... They're fucking immature assholes."

"Do dolphins have tattoos of single mothers on their arses?"

"Sarah fell of the swing because she has no arms..... Knock knock Who's there? Not sarah!"

"California Earthquake Today there was a 4.8 magnitude earthquake reported in California. Taylor Swift was quoted as saying ""Shake it, shake it off""."

"I treasure my watch. This is my grandfather, who sold it to me on his deathbed."

"What kind of bars do lesbian Eskimos go to? Klondike Bars"

"How can you tell when your girlfriend is getting fat? When she can fit into your wife's clothes."

"Whats worse than eating 10 oysters out of your girlfriends vagina? Realising you only put 9 in"

"How do you troll someone? Make them wipe their screen because they think text is a smudge."