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Joke of the Day

"What do you call it when a waiter at an internet cafe gets your order wrong? 500 Internal Server Error"

"What did Larry McMurtry say when his neighbor asked to borrow a bar of soap? He said ""Sure! I could loan some Dove""."

"There should be a prenatal test to find out if you're gonna have one of those kids with tiny teeth and giant gums."

"I don't know what I would do if I got to Greece... ...and couldn't get a single gyro."

"What's the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A mosquito stops sucking when you slap it."

"Ugh, stalkers are horrible. You'd think SOMEONE could've let me know I was out of toilet paper."

"Why did the cook go to jail? For beating the eggs and whipping the cream!"

"You'd think after 12 years of filming Boyhood someone would be like hey maybe we should make this good."

"*full moon emerges from behimd clouds* nno--nonono it cant be...RUN. FAR AWAY FROM ME. NOW. IM A-- IM A-- *turns into bungalow* IM A WAREHOUSE"

"Tomb Raider gave me carpal tunnel syndrome. ...and that was just the box art."