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Joke of the Day

"**SEX.** SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX. Now that you have my attention, go do the dishes for me."

"Drake Bell needs to call his child Taco."

"I belched chickpeas in front of the Queen... She gave me a post-houmous pardon."

"I pulled the trigger on myself... now I'm triggered."

"The new Pope So now that the new Pope is Argentinian they may say that they own Vatican City because they had a temporary residance there. It's not like it has happend before."

"I'm offended that horses don't put their hooves over their hearts during the National Anthem when they win a gold in equestrian events."

"That awkward moment when you step on a lego and all the kids scatter because they know SOMEONE must die."

"Have you heard that some bad dogs are running around burning down dog-houses? It's a rash of arfson."

"Why did the prostitute had a second vagina transplanted on her hip? So she could make money on the side."

"I'm not saying all my friends are Pot Heads But we did have a 2 hour discussion on how Sponge Bob Grills underwater"