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Joke of the Day

"I love the word frequently... I try to use it as often as possible."

"""A mother is a person who seeing there are only four pieces of pie for five people, promptly announces she never did care for pie."""

"WRITING TIP: Every movie should start with a close-up of an alarm clock going off and a hand clumsily trying to silence it."

"Why couldn't the physicist get the Standard Model to work? Because it wouldn't commute!"

"If a fireman's job can go up in smoke, and a plumbers job can go down the drain, can a hooker get laid off?!"

"I don't know why people get embarrassed when they take a magazine to the toilet, you should see the looks I get when I take my plunger."

"Can I have some orange juice? You: Can I have some orange juice? Other person: sure go ahead. You: Do you have any orange? Other person: what? You: I have jews but i dont have any orange."

"BREAKING NEWS: hole blasted into women's restroom Officers are looking into it"

"I got stopped in the street today by a woman with a clipboard asking ""What products do I use for grooming?"" She was a bit taken aback when I replied, ""Facebook."""

"*uses your voodoo doll as a tampon*"