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Joke of the Day
"""Ramen"". - Scooby Doo, finishing a prayer"
Next Joke
"I almost killed my whole family last night, but eventually chose not to let my wife drive."
"In my experience, all edible underwear just ends up being crotchless."
"Cop failed me on the sobriety test even tho I not only touched my nose like he asked but went on & totally nailed the rest of the macarena."
"gf: i'm breaking up with you. me: is it my drinking habits? gf: well it... me: *interrupts with empty cup straw-sipping noise for 2 minutes*"
"Nothing puts me in touch with my mortality like stepping onto a downward escalator."
"My GF was triggered when I chased the big black birds away from my bird feeder because what I wanted to see was tits. She said it was my crow aggression."
"The British are coming! The British are coming! The British have to get up early! The British swear they'll call you in the morning!"
"*Buys new iPhone* *Crosses road tweeting about it* *Accident* *Dies* *Makes entry in heaven* - Sent via iPhone."
"Why do black people always die first in scary movies? Because they never run from nothin but the police"