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Joke of the Day

"gf: i'm breaking up with you. me: is it my drinking habits? gf: well it... me: *interrupts with empty cup straw-sipping noise for 2 minutes*"

"funny Q: Why do birds fly south for the winter? A: It's too far to walk."

"""Eat her already!"" - Animal watching people kissing"

"What's the difference between black people and cancer? Cancer got Jobs"

"Have you heard about the funny feminist? me neither"

"4-year-old: What do you want for your birthday? Me: You could get me a ""world's best dad"" mug. 4: You told me not to lie."

"So I told my dad a joke about Sandy Hook the other day. He didn't think it was funny I guess it's aimed at a younger audience."

"The doctor said I have Matchbox 20/20 vision . . . Typical RobThomatrist."

"A farmer won a million dollars playing the lottery, he was really excited looking at his bank account... ...it now showed zero dollars."

"Karen on Facebook says... ""Going to the dentist now. Hate having things put in my mouth!!! :("" That's probably why your husband left, Karen."