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Joke of the Day

"I went on a date with a girl I met from twitter once. It didn't work out, but he's one of the nicest guys I've ever met."

"I hear the new Supreme Court ruling over gay marriage has really got a lot of people butt hurt"

"Top 3 situations that require witnesses:1) Crimes2) Accidents 3) MarriagesNeed I say more?"

"What do smart blondes and UFO's have in common? You hear about them but never see them"

"If at first you don't succeed, get her drunk."

"Bank robber: EVERYONE BE CALM AND NO ONE GETS HURT Guy from back of room: IM DATING UR EX WIFE BR: [sobbing] ok only one person gets hurt"

"A lion walks into a bar. Several people get up and leave predicting the impending danger at hand."

"My name is Seamus and I build that bridge you just drove over. It's the longest spanning bridge in Ireland. Do they call me Seamus the Famous Bridge Builder? No, they don't, but fuck one sheep..."

"What do you call an Italian guy whos afraid of cheese? Alfredo"

"Better living through chemistry Table of Elements: C = carbon Ho = holmium Co =cobalt La = lanthanum Te = tellurium CHoCoLaTe - Better living through chemistry!"