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Joke of the Day

"*Skrillex' mother puts her ear to his bedroom door* *She hears constant bass drops* *Dad walks up* ""Sounds like he's Wubbing one out.."""

"What do you have in a room full of tweakers? A full set of teeth."

"My New Year's resolution is *removes sunglasses* 2048x1080. I'll explain. *perches on desk* You see, the word 'resolution' can also refer t"

"I don't understand how anyone could be a grave robber. How do you steal a six foot hole?"

"Two sheep are in a field... One says ""Baaaaaaah"" The other one says, ""Fuck, I was gonna say that!"""

"I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised."

"Mitch Hedberg R.I.P Buddy I was told to move because I was blocking the fire exit ... as if I wouldn't run if there was a fire ... anything flamable and has legs can't ever block a fire exit"

"What is DNA short for? National Dyslexics Association"

"During WW2, oil shortages forced some countries to start using organic fuels. Mussolini made the trains run on thyme."

"For the holidays I've decided to stop making puns... I'm sure yule appreciate it."