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Joke of the Day
"Lock an astronomer in a basement... and they'll go star craving mad."
Next Joke
"Why didn't the President fight with the chair? Because we don't negotiate with chair-orrists."
"What's the difference between purple and pink? The grip. "
"I'm deathly afraid of elevators. I take a lot of steps to avoid them."
"If I had a dollar for every person alive I wanted to kill... I might have let a few of them live."
"Success is just like being pregnant."
"What's Hitler's least favorite planet? Jewpiter"
"What did the hero say during the September 11 attacks? ""Allah akbar!"""
"So my close friends kid wanted to be Batman. So a murdered his parents after giving them tickets to the opera. He doesn't seem so keen now."
"If I ever make a list of dumb things I have done my ex would be right on top."