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Joke of the Day

"The best part of waking up is still mystery to me."

"What do you call a drummer who has lost one of his drumsticks? A conductor."

"What did the Terminator say when he decided to take up piano? I'll be bach."

"Why are proteins so bad at poker? They always fold."

"""Hey, enough with the damn songs! We're all studying for finals."" -rest of the school on Glee"

"What do you do with an aggressive Islamic German shepherd Muslim"

"My ex was a true professional.she said ""you are fired"" when we broke up."

"Why did did the convicts escape? Billy Eichner has a theory... Billy Eichner says I bet those escaped convicts are going to see Ted 2."

"I thought landlady was the opposite of mermaid?"

"As I get older I realize my penis is like Jesus. It takes 3 days to reserect after a good beating."