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Joke of the Day
"Smart-phones... The best thing to happen to sh1tting since the newspaper."
Next Joke
"Kim Davis says war has been declared on traditional marriage. Still unclear is which of her four marriages is under attack."
"I hate when someone makes the comment ""he says what we're all thinking"" when he obviously said nothing about sexy lesbians."
"What did Hitler tell his wife on Valentines Day? Be Mein"
"My wife and I have agreed on a trial separation. The kids aren't to keen, but my wife and I just don't want them anymore."
"I went to donate a kidney once.. I went in to donate a kidney once but when I arrived at the hospital they asked me where I'd got it from -Jimmy Carr"
"Joined our neighborhood watch program. There's 30 of us though so I only get to wear it like 1 day a month. :("
"[first date] Boy: so where are you from? Me: [points to all you can eat sign] I live here now."
"In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth.... And the rest was made in China."
"I asked my girlfriend if she could get me a newspaper ""Don`t be silly"", she replied, ""you can borrow my ipad"". That fly never knew what hit it."