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Joke of the Day
"I just plugged in a USB cord on the first try. My wife is in for a treat tonight."
Next Joke
"My left buttcheek fell asleep. I'm Half-assing everything I do for the next ten minutes."
"Mike Tyson fires a nuke at his maths teacher. It was a weapon of math destruction. I'm so sorry."
"Break into your neighbor's house every night but don't take anything just put a cape on their dog"
"A husband finds his wife in bed with three men. He says, ""Well, hello, hello, hello! His wife says, ""Aren't you going to say hello to me?"""
"The Story of Volcanos God: Ok, how about a mountain.. Angel: We got mountains. God: Lemme finish. That shits fire. Angel: Metal. *fist bump*"
"I never scrape my back window so when I back out of parking spots I let Jesus decide if I'm gonna kill anyone"
"*walks up to dealer* I would like 3 weeds please ""Are you a cop?"" No I love crime and tomfoolery ""..."" Could I also get a bushel of cocaine?"
"Damn girl are you deaf? I said, Damn girl are you deaf?"
"Accidentally poured myself a glass of vodka at 9am. Accidentally drank it too. I'm so fcuking clumsy."