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Joke of the Day

"What did the conceited man say while he stood on the north pole? The earth revolves around me."

"I had sex with a girl and she kept shouting another guys name Who the fuck is rape?"

"Where do Dalmatians get their music from? Spotify."

"Last night for Halloween, I saw exactly 12 people dressed like Eleven. I know this because after the 9th 11, I swore I'd never forget."

"How to cure affluenza? Introduce him to Warhammer."

"If Excel had a record label.... It would be Excel ENT. I'll see myself out."

"Your momma's so fat That when she goes to church people say: Holy Cow!"

"*Pearly Gates St. Peter: No way! Me as angel: It's the rules! SP: But the drugs and sweari- M: ALL DOGS GO TO HEAVEN! Snoop: Fo' Shizzle."

"I don't think I'm better than you. I never think about you."

"What's gambling like in heaven? It's a pair-a-dice."