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Joke of the Day

"A pirate joke kind of day. What do pirates and pimps have in common? They both say ""YO HO!"" and walk with a limp!"

"Why doesn't orange rhyme with anything? Because it's a Mandarin word"

"How many? How many pessimists does it take to change a light bulb? None - it's probably screwed it too tight anyhow!"

"The nicotine patch is great. I get my addiction out of the hands of the evil tobacco industry and into the loving arms of big pharma."

"Animal Crackers... ... despised by gluten-free people and vegans"

"The doctors tested a man to see if he was gay. He passed with flying colors."

"When does John Cena get scared? When John CENA ghost!"

"My 9 year daughter asked me: ""Daddy can we buy money?"" ... Me: Buy money? Using what? Daughter: Aaa ... Apples? Me: That's called ""Selling Apples"" not buying money."

"How do you fit an elephant in a Safeway bag? hint: take the ""S"" out of ""safe"" and the ""F"" out of ""way"""

"""Here's your cup of Joe"" - Joe at the sperm bank"