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Joke of the Day

"How many philosophers does it take to... ...change a light bulb? Define ""light bulb""."

"I'm not a bragger.... But if I would be, I'm pretty sure that I would be the best one in the World."

"Home Alone teaches us that a child can't pack a suitcase but can create a fully functional flame thrower to harm a small New Jersey man."

"Boss: Where'd you go?? Me: I got all the way up front and realized I forgot my pen. Boss: Okay? Me: So I went to lunch."

"If Bob Marley were alive today, what would he listen to music on? An iAndiPod. Just made that one up. I can hear the groans."

"The best 5 seconds of my life are when I wake up and have no idea I'm a human or have responsibilities."

"I thought Match .com was a place to arrange fights to the death, but turns out it's a website to find love. So I was close."

"Why do sneaky rogues prefer to wear leather? Because it's made of hide."

"Do you know why consuming ants is good for your health? It's because they have anty-bodies!"

"An elephant and a camel are chatting at a party The elephant asks ""Why do you have your tits on your back?"" ""YOU KNOW FOR SOMEONE WHOSE DICK IS IN THEIR FACE THAT'S A REALLY STUPID QUESTION!"""