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Joke of the Day

"A police officer came up to me yesterday and asked me ""Where were you between four and six?"" I replied, ""Kindergarden"""

"There's one good thing about suffering from insomnia 3 more sleeps 'til Christmas!"

"There are 10 kinds of people in this world... ...those who understand binary and those who don't"

"My Shake Weight came in the mail today! Boy, was that a mess."

"Getting a red heart instead of a yellow star makes me feel like things are moving a little too fast between us."

"Mirror mirror on the wall. Forget the fairest. Who would you fuck?"

"Why are Sharks the only species that get their own week? I'd totally watch hermit crab week if they had one."

"The only way Mexico will pay for that wall... ...is if Trump drives the US economy into the ground and Americans start crossing into Mexico looking for jobs."

"A man is waiting on the bus... ""Would you mind coming down?"" The driver asked politely."

"I'm sorry I whispered ""a weem a way"" over and over during your jungle safari slide show..."