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Joke of the Day

"For tentative people there's no place like ""erm""."

"I fell face-first in fresh concrete the other day... I wasn't worried though - my mom always said I'd make a good impression."

"How do you end a relationship fight? You break it up."

"Scientists are coming closer to unlocking the secret to why the average American owns 40 pairs of jeans but only wears 3 or 4 of them."

"Whoever said money doesn't grow on trees obviously never sold marijuana."

"Did you hear that the World Hokey Pokey Champion has died? At the undertakers, they were putting him into the coffin. They got his left leg in. That's when the trouble started..."

"What did the starfish say when it realized that it lost it's ability to regenerate limbs? I can't remember."

"What do you call a woman with a very round head? Sophia. (sphere) it works best spoken"

"What do a Pediatrician and Podiatrist have in common? Their patients are 2'"

"Be careful how much wine you drink, might end up vacuuming the driveway in your panties"