78783

Joke of the Day

"What do you call a woman with a very round head? Sophia. (sphere) it works best spoken"

"I was born Mary Patterson... but then I married and, naturally, I took my husbands name. So now I'm Neil Patterson. From ""A Bit of Fry and Laurie"""

"Based on the novel 'Push Notifications' by iSapphire"

"How many dads does it take to change a light bulb? Two. One to put it in and one to complain that he never screws anything anymore."

"A student once told me the Big Bang was a lie, just like evolution. Then he asked me what my sign was. I'm just a prof. I can't fix stupid."

"Great Gatsby (2013), Wolf of Wallstreet (2013), Django Unchained (2012): Leonardo DiCaprio is rich and screams at people"

"Q: Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman? A: Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will never be able to support you."

"Why are pizza makers always poor? Because they knead dough to make a living."

"Sometimes Victoria's Secret is Victor's secret on weekends."

"5-year-old: Why don't we say Grace? Me: I don't know. 5-year-old: Me: 5-year-old: Is it because your cooking makes God angry?"