4720

Joke of the Day

"Friend: Will we be hearing the patter of tiny feet soon? Me: *grabbing her arm too hard* You know about my squirell army"

"What's the hardest part of a vegetable? The wheelchair."

"I was going to tell you a joke about Alzheimers But I just don't remember it now"

"When I'm home alone and I walk into the basement, I start talking out loud about all the karate I know."

"The only time my car goes 0-100 real fast. Is when it's sitting in broad daylight on a summer day."

"If you ever get cold, just go hang out in a corner... They are usually 90 degrees."

"What's Nigel Thornberry's favorite band? The Smashing Pumpkins."

"My local baseball team can't sell beer at the stadium anymore... They lost the opener! [wah wah](http://www.sadtrombone.com/)"

"What has 9 arms and 10 legs? A Def Leppard."

"What do two rednecks say to each other after a break up? Let's go back to being cousins."