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Joke of the Day

"yeah i like going to the gym. if by gym you mean beer and Netflix. 20 billion RTs 1 trillion favs, rted by the official white house twitter"

"What do you get when you cross-breed a shark and a cow? I have no idea but I wouldn't milk it."

"I don't like having long hair... ...but it's kind of growing on me"

"I like my coffee like I like my women. Cock full o' nuts."

"The last fight I had with my wife was my fault. She asked me what was on the tv. I replied, ""Dust."""

"My age is very inappropriate for my behavior."

"I, for one, am proud of Donald Trump for paying those hookers to pee on each other. He finally paid a contractor"

"Cheetah is not the fastest animal on the earth. If a cheetah runs after you, You will run faster."

"I'm so sick of unexpected character deaths for shock value. This is a terrible pilates video."

"oh sally Why did sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms Knock Knock Who's there? NOT SALLY!"