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Joke of the Day

"I was watching a movie with my son earlier. Gripping my hand he said: ""Dad I'm scared, is that woman going to die?"". ""Judging by the size of that horse's cock, yes""."

"I think what I did to get away from that spider could qualify as parkour."

"why are flies the biggest troll? they only live for three days, and spend it fucking with you"

"Our conscience is clear- we don't use it."

"Can I man and a woman have sex while running? By principle, yes. By practicality, no. Because a woman runs faster with her skirt up than a man with his pants down."

"Q: What kind of fish has two knees? A: A tunee fish."

"Archeologists in South Africa have just discoved what they think is the oldest tampon ever found They are trying to find out what period it came from"

"Burnt my Hawaiian pizza last night........ .......... should have put it on aloha heat."

"When 13 witches collectively fart in a cauldron and quickly cover it with a lid... *lowers shades* ...Dutch Coven."

"Why do elephants have four feet? Because six inches would never satisfy a female elephant."