47009

Joke of the Day

"If the Native Americans that celebrated the first Thanksgiving were still alive today, what would they be most famous for? Their age."

"I walked into a room full of men and they couldn't stop staring at me. Oh...wrong toilets."

"How many NRA spokesmen does it take to change a lightbulb? MORE GUNS!!!"

"Imagine going back to the Middle Ages and telling people that we can fly in the future. They'd be like ""DUDE WTF are you wearing Crocs?"""

"Sergeant Miller! Yes sir? I didn't see you at the camouflage training yesterday! Thank you sir!"

"Twat did you say? I cunt hear you. Iv got an ear infucktion. Better assk again."

"Paul Walker took up Zen Buddism not long before his death. . . He became one with a tree."

"Did you know unicorns exist? Yeah man. You didn't know? They're short and fat, and people call them rhinos."

"*Knock Knock* ""Who's there?"" HOLD THE DOOR!! HOLD THE DOOR!!! HOL THE DOOR! HOL DA DOR! HO DA DOR! :'("

"When I first started playing chess, I thought the castle could move diagonally. Classic rook-y mistake."