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Joke of the Day
"I dont know why its called kidnapping, Ive never got one of those little bastards to fall asleep"
Next Joke
"""You thinkin what I'm thinkin?"" ""That we should dance our way out of this street fight?"" ""Wait what?"" ""No time! Break on 8! And a 5 6 7 8."""
"New Horizons probe discovers trees on Pluto! Reporters asked ""how can you tell?"" And NASA said ""from the bark, you dummies!"""
"I told my dentist I wanted whiter teeth so he named them all Bryce and moved them to a gated community."
"Don't ever believe anything an atom says. They make up everything."
"Who the friggin hell buys a cat? There are cats everywhere. You just let one into your home and it becomes your cat."
"The first time I had sex, I was really scared... I was all alone! --Rodney Dangerfield"
"I swapped my wife's tampons with party poppers. Absolutely no sense of humour that girl.."
"The awesome moment when you're telling a lie and your best friend notices and joins you"
"It's hard to fall asleep because I don't trust myself to not die."