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Joke of the Day

"My first blowjob was like my first bike ride.... Two bruised knees, a sore jaw and my father telling me I was really good for a first timer"

"I was on my knees all night, screwing this nut from behind... ...when I woke up this morning, my hands were really sore."

"Pretend it's a beer... Pretend it's a beer... Pretend it's a beer... - Me trying not to drop a baby."

"How many ears does Spock have? Three. A right ear, a left ear, and a final frontier."

"What's the difference between God and Bono?? God doesn't walk around thinking he's Bono!!"

"MEMO TO GIRLS: It is not cold in here. You are a girl."

"Helium walks into a bar The bartender says ""sorry we don't serve noble gases here."" The helium did not react"

"My friend told me I don't know what irony is Which was ironic, because we were at a bus stop."

"Do they have reserved parking for non-handicapped people at the Special Olympics?"

"I have a habit... I have a habit of flipping around letters in a word. You say pencil, I say cenpil. You say banana, I say nababa. You say popcorn, I shut up."