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Joke of the Day

"I was on my knees all night, screwing this nut from behind... ...when I woke up this morning, my hands were really sore."

"I bet ""All You Need is Love"" was easier to write on a full stomach."

"Why do pop artists hate shoe shopping? They have too many ft. *edit for spelling"

"Why was the cake lonely? Because he was deserted by his friends"

"Facebook Status: I caught your boyfriend having internet sex with one of my Farmville sheep."

"Sometimes this earth seems so crazy to me. But I guess I should expect it from a bipolar planet."

"Talk to your kids about drugs. Learn which drugs are cool rn. You don't wanna be a nerd parent"

"I'm a pretty confident woman until I walk out of the grocery store & try to find where I parked."

"My son is fashion conscious and likes Disney show tunes. I think we need to have THE TALK. No son of mine is gonna raid my lingerie closet."

"When I found out my wife was having an affair, I was heartbroken. I turned to religion to cope. Now I'm Muslim and we're stoning her tomorrow."