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Joke of the Day

"I always make sure I have a single male friend Because he comes in handy."

"What came first? The chicken, the egg or millions of years of evolution that are ignored by a stupid fucking idiom."

"[hospital] Looks like ur Vine went viral. ""Yay!"" Sorry ur VEIN went viral...you have a fatal blood disease. ""So waitmy Vine didn't go viral?"""

"Limericks : Think this needs tweaking... There was a young man from Constantinople Whose limericks didn't always rhyme They finished too short."

"Why doesn't Mexico have an olympic team? Because anyone that can run, jump or swim is already over the border!"

"What do you call the line at a Vietnamese restaurant? Pho queue!"

"Two men came to the door asking if I'd found Jesus. I had no idea he was missing and I suddenly got nervous thinking I might be a suspect."

"if you walk up to a british policeman and play the benny hill music he legally has to chase you until you turn it off"

"I'm not the jealous type. And no I don't know why every time you talk to someone the police find their body dumped in a river the next day."

"Clearly cheating A man cheats on his girlfriend Lorraine with a woman named Clearly. Lorraine dies suddenly. At the funeral, the man stands up and sings, ""I can see Clearly now, Lorraine is gone."""