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Joke of the Day

"One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor."

"What kind of vitamin does a pirate take? Vitamin sea."

"why does snoop need an umbrella? for the drizzle."

"Today I found Jesus in my life. Let me tell you about him. He is tan with a thick black mustache, and eyes so brown they make your soul melt. He is my gardner, the best I have ever employed."

"The human body can survive 28 days without food, but only 11 minutes without Internet."

"Why shouldn't you commit a crime in front of an Indian women? She's always recording."

"You can't trust atoms.. ..They make up everything."

"Did you hear about the lawyer whose divorce ended up in a nasty custody fight about a dog? When the lawyer won the dog bit him."

"What did the bra say to the toupee? You go on ahead, I'll hold these two up."

"Why didn't the dog play cards on his ocean cruise? Because the captain stood on the deck."