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Joke of the Day

"What happens to the losers of the tv show The Biggest Loser? They're made to feel like the smallest person in the world."

"Heard this one at the bar last night: Women are good for 70 things... Making sandwiches and 69."

"Why is Peter Pan always flying? Because he neverlands."

"These five euphemisms for defecation will shock you! I can't believe #2"

"Why can't your hear a pteradactyl go to the toilet? Because the p is silent."

"Time is not wasted, when your wasted all the time"" ~Benjamin Franklin (I think.)"

"Realized I never said ""unquote"" after reciting a famous poem in 10th grade. Sorry if you thought everything I've said since is Shakespeare"

"Two muffins are in a tin in the oven. One says to the other, ""man it's hot in here."" The other says, ""HOLY SHIT A TALKING MUFFIN!"""

"Did you hear about the Jewish couple that met during the Holocaust? They were star-crossed lovers."

"Aliens are in space right now watching all these movies where Tom Cruise defeats them, and they are laughing so hard one just peed a little."