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Joke of the Day

"Heard this one at the bar last night: Women are good for 70 things... Making sandwiches and 69."

"Star Wars Spoilers (not really) Dumbledore dies!"

"I enjoy cereal so much.. I enjoy cereal so much that I started incorporating it into other aspects of my life. For example, I don't get blue balls, I get Grape-Nuts."

"Whenever someone talks to me, I freak out because I forget people can see me."

"Oatmeal shouldn't get to have the word ""meal"" in it. How about oatsnack? Or oatbullshit?"

"Did you guys hear the one where the Imam joins the priest and rabbi walking into the bar? That's because muslims can't drink."

"'Kyrgyzstan' is what happens when you've already named all the other countries and you have left over letters."

"When does John Cena get scared? When John CENA ghost!"

"What color were eyes of the Astronaut on the Challenger when it exploded? Blue. One blue this way <---- and the other blue that way ----->"

"The closest I've ever come to winning anything was that time I got picked from a lineup at the station."