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Joke of the Day

"Doctor Doctor I think I'm a bell? Take these and if it doesn't help give me a ring!"

"I almost banged my wife in the ass last night.. Coworker: Well, what happened? Me: She woke up!"

"As a mom, I know nothing good happens after you hear one of your kids yell ""JOHN CENA!!"""

"[murder trial] LAWYER: So you unplugged your wife's life support for five minutes? COMPUTER TECH: Sometimes that works."

"Why does Dr. Pepper come in a bottle? Because he's a fucking creep"

"Some would say firemen deserve more money. A pole was taken and they all fell through a hole in the floor."

"The answer to 4 Leg, 2 Leg, 3 Leg riddle is a man... because a woman is on her knees all day."

"As a Fat bottomed girl, I'm not sure how we're expected to make the Rockin' world go round. That sounds *way* too much like exercise to me"

"China has one of the largest manufacturing and exporting economies in the world. What product of theirs is most commonly exported? Newborn girls."

"Yes, autocorrect, I live you too."