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Joke of the Day
"Dating is like vitamins If you don't go outside much you won't get the D."
Next Joke
"One day I talked to a girl who has a lisping problem ""How long can you hold your breath?"" . . . I left the room with a black eye."
"Did you know that camels can last longer without water than sex? They can go three weeks without water, but can't go a day without a hump."
"Let's make a deal. I'll get in touch with my feminine side if you get in touch with my balls."
"""Why don't you have kids yet?"" is a great question, ma'am, but I'm saving that conversation for the right total stranger at this gym."
"My entire day will be spent laughing at my children because they have to go back to school tomorrow.."
"What do you call the spirits of honey bees? Boo-bees"
"What did the fish say when it ran into the wall? Dam"
"Sardine Wife: ""What's wrong?"" Sardine Husband: ""I just need some space, Linda."" Sardine Wife: ""WHERE EXACTLY SHOULD I GO, KENNETH"""
"""This is why I hate fancy restaurants, I can never pronounce anything on the menu"" -me, drunk, holding the Waffle House menu upside down"