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Joke of the Day

"Sardine Wife: ""What's wrong?"" Sardine Husband: ""I just need some space, Linda."" Sardine Wife: ""WHERE EXACTLY SHOULD I GO, KENNETH"""

"I just met someone who was a steam-roller operator. He was such a flatterer."

"The Michelin Man is the most racist mascot in corporate history, because TIRES ARE BLACK."

"We built this city on rock n roll, bits of hair, couple of pieces of carpet we found. It's a horrible place to live honestly."

"A man is in a car wreck and is rushed to the ER. When he wakes up he tells the doctor: ""I can't feel my legs!!!"" The doctor replies: ""I know, I cut your arms off."""

"My brother shit himself.... my mom said holy shit"

"What did one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob? If we don't get some support, people will think we're nuts!"

"How do you know when your sister is on her period? Your dad's dick tastes like blood."

"I dig, you dig, we dig, he dig, she dig, they dig. Its not a beautiful poem, but its very deep."

"A big thank you to whoever spraypainted ""KARATE"" on the side of my truck. Cops are scared to give me tickets now."