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Joke of the Day

"Why would anyone ever want to fly Virgin Airlines? The last thing you want to do is get on a plane that doesn't go all the way."

"People the most gentle, loving, kind, sympathetic, peaceful and caring creatures in the world. Especially when they need something from you."

"It's impossible to describe why u are angry at a parent without sounding like a lunatic. ""They wanted me to eat salad! Can u believe that?"""

"Knock knock. Who's there? Boo. Boo hoo? It's just a joke -- you don't have to cry about it."

"My girlfriend was on her. So I put it in her:"

"What's long and hard and full of semen? A submarine."

"Two cats decided to commit suicide by jumping off a cliff... The first cat jumped. The other was too much of a pussy."

"I sleep with a water gun near my bed, in case of cat burglar."

"I can't wait to try Alton Towers newest ride The Air Ambulance."

"Why do butter substitutes have such a hard time? Because they're always being marginalized!"