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Joke of the Day
"I sleep with a water gun near my bed, in case of cat burglar."
Next Joke
"What do you call an anorexic chick with a yeast infection?? Quarter pounder with cheese"
"[zoo] Hey dad, where are mountain lions from? *dad panics* -Uhh...you see, son, when a mountain and a lion love each other very much..."
"Toilet won't stop throwing up. I didn't know it was Legos intolerant. SEND HELP THIS IS NOT A DRILL"
"I can be the Taco Beast... ...If you're my Taco Belle!"
"My son asked me what it's like to be married... So I took his iPod and deleted all of his songs except for one."
"Plagiarism Hey! I invented a new word: plagiarism."
"knock knock ! Who's there ? The cops. The cops who ? ""I'm sorry to tell you m'am but your son has passed away."""
"October 10th was such a great day 10/10"
"Doctor: ""Sir, the results are in. I'm afraid you have a serious case of 80s Rock Bands Alzheimer's"" Patient: ""Oh my god. What is the cure??!"""