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Joke of the Day

"COME TO ME JOURNALBOT *Journalbot enters my study* ok write this down: Polar bears are bear ghosts. ""polargeists"" [very sad robot noises]"

"A priest and a rabbi are in a boat they approach a bridge over the river and see a young boy standing there. The priest says to the rabbi ""Should we fuck him?"" The rabbi replies ""Out of what?"""

"Q: Have you read the book about very cold temperatures? A: Not only does it have two covers, it has a jacket."

"Say what you want about North Korea, but... something something /r/Pyongyang"

"Two Russian pilots in Syria - Hi, what have you been doing today? - Bombing the ISIS headquarters... - Which one, the main headquarters? - No man, the main headquarters is on the other continent..."

"What did one elf girl say to the other elf girl who wasn't sharing? ""Stop being so elfish, Karen!"""

"I wish mirrors and cameras would get together and figure out what I really look like."

"A magician was driving down the road when suddenly... He turned into a driveway!"

"guys calm down squirrels invented parkour"

"What do you call the richest person in the soup industry? A boullionaire"