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Joke of the Day

"Amazon Asked Me to Write a Review Amazon asked for feedback on the used telescope I bought from their site. I was honest with my review: ""This telescope sucked. Two Stars."""

"What's harder than nailing a dead baby to a wall? My dick while doing it."

"I have glasses but cannot see. I have feet but cannot walk. What am I? A riddle."

"Some people say don't bring a knife to a gun fight but I say DONT GO TO THE GUNFIGHT AT ALL ARE YOU KIDDING ME BULLETS HURT SO BAD OMG"

"I don't care how hardcore you are. If you don't cry when Dumbo visits his mommy in elephant jail, you have no soul."

"Why should you torrent only from French sites? Because it'll run faster."

"What is the average Math teacher like? Mean."

"Don't talk to me about your drinking problems until you've tried to make your cat wear your contact lenses because he looked a bit squinty."

"A woman is accused of attacking her husband with several of his guitars The Judge asked ""First time offender?"" She replied, ""No, first time a Gibson, then a Fender."""

"Spice up your otherwise trite wedding by making the groomsmen act as pallbearers and carry the groom to the altar in a casket"