4608

Joke of the Day

"It was only after I started dancing in the food court - alone - that I learned flash mobs are planned..."

"How do you make your girlfriend scream during sex? You just call me..."

"I don't understand ads on p0rn sites. like who is ever in the middle of jerking off then goes like ""woah! that's the new detergent?"""

"The ""smoking gun"" has a greater risk of dying early than guns that don't smoke."

"""Dean, what do you think is a reasonable price point for a chocolate cake?"" ""Good question, Deluca. I'm gonna say $95."""

"confession: when my barber spins me around and hands me a mirror to check the back I just fake it. Who is even that coordinated?"

"what do you call a 3 humped camel? Pregnant"

"That's shocking!! Hold on. *quickly draws overly arched eyebrows* Ok. Go on."

"If you think being a vegetarian will make you thin, I direct your attention to cows."

"A dad walks into his daughter's room and saw her fapping with a cucumber, he said: Hey! I was going to eat that, now it's going to taste like cucumber!"