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Joke of the Day

"I don't understand ads on p0rn sites. like who is ever in the middle of jerking off then goes like ""woah! that's the new detergent?"""

"No matter how bad things get, at least I have my fingers! I know I can always count on them."

"Detective: Why did you dump those vegetables on my desk? Criminal: You said it was time to spill the beans."

"As a pot smoking narcissist, my life is all smoke and mirrors"

"What do you do when you see and Mexican on a bike? Shoot him he probably stole that bike. What do you do when you see a black man on a bike? Shoot the bike, that's your nigger."

"I know... I know where the percentage symbol goes %50 of the time."

"The worst thing about being bitten by a poisonous spider is... You're probably Australian"

"Why don't sharks eat clowns? Because they taste funny."

"Picking up this tiny piece of paper would take 1 second, but instead I am going to run over 100 times with the vacuum at different angles."

"Q: Why can't Helen Keller drive? A: Because she's dead."