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Joke of the Day

"sometimes i see a bird & i hate it for no reason. i'm not proud of it but its true. they have tiny heads & even smaller hearts. they hate us"

"Young man cashier: Ma'am, if you don't mind me saying, you have really beautiful eyes. What I heard: Ma'am"

"The unused coloring book. Why can't the little girl color the elephant in her coloring book? Her arms are amputated."

"Stop calling yourself sexy. The only thing you turn on is a microwave."

"Is a lightsaber's blade hot or cold? Neither. Its warm. *picks up lightsaber *warm warm warm*"

"What do you call two lesbian Indians (native americans) in a canoe? Fur Traders"

"Why doesn't Barbie get pregnant? ...because Ken comes in a separate box."

"Did you hear about the shy masturbating turtle? he really came out of his shell"

"What do you call a guy who only posts clickbait? A master-baiter"

"Three legged dog Did you hear about the three legged dog that walked into the bar looking for the man that shot his paw."