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Joke of the Day

"I heard there were shenanigans in Iowa last week Apparently it was Hillary's cock and Bernie's ass."

"What are ducks' favorite drug? Quack."

"How did you know that the janitors were dating? They were caught sweeping together."

"Rick Perry was going to do the ALS ice bucket challenge But he couldn't remember the 3rd person he was going to challenge."

"What is a Muslim womans favorite amendment? The second (right to bare arms)"

"What did the DJ order from the deli? A club sandwich with extra beets."

"I just sat through two hours of Jersey Shore. Apparently the stupid I was born with wasn't stupid enough."

"Why do women close their eyes during sex? Because they can't stand to see a man happy."

"As a cat burglar most of my late night break-ins are actually well orchestrated attempts to pet other peoples animals."

"My friend told me he walked into his house and saw that the sheets of paper in his office were having an orgy. I asked him, ""How does paper cum?"" ""Why,"" he replied, ""in stacks, of course."""