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Joke of the Day

"Why do women pay more attention to their appearance than improving their minds? Because most men are stupid, but few are blind."

"\What is the leading cause for pedophelia? Sexy kids."

"[me giving tour of city landmarks] and on your left you'll see a corgi in a bandanahe's not part of the tour but let's go get a closer look"

"What's the world's most dangerous city? Electricity"

"Why is Lorde named thusly? She isn't named thusly, she's named Lorde."

"Calm down, white people expertly wielding chopsticks to eat pad thai."

"Why does the Avon lady walk funny? Because her lips stick"

"My eyes are fine but I still failed my eye exams... I guess I shouldn't have copied off the asian guy."

"""Actually I have a lot of secs"" is apparently not the right answer to ""Do you have a sec?"""

"""Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to breathe free."" ""Some, I assume, are good people"""