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Joke of the Day

"Why would you never starve in the desert? Because of all the sandwiches there."

"_____________/\__________\o/_____ Swim little man swim! Swim away from the shark! You have to save yourself!"

"I just ran into my high school bully and it was great cause I'm doing well and he's 17 which is very old for a dog"

"Where would you find the emo kid at his birthday party? Just *hanging* out by himself in the bedroom"

"A barber, a hairdresser, and bigfoot walk into a bar... You know what...I'm gonna shave this joke for another time."

"new boss: mind sharing an office? me: no NB: Good [points to room filled w/wolves] bc we finally contained them please keep the door closed"

"Ear wax is disgusting. But when you're out of Vegemite, you're out of Vegemite."

"Why did the child have two black eyes? Because telling them once wasn't enough."

"The 16yo tells me he's been revising all day. His browser history suggests he's got his YouTube exam in the morning."

"To test my ability to emphasthize I tried to force myself to empathize with Brock Turner But if I learned anything from him it's that some things should never be forced"