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Joke of the Day

"TV and the Internet are good because they keep stupid people from spending too much time out in public."

"My neighbour came back home drunk and has been knocking at his door for over 3hours now. But he stays alone, should i go and tell him that he is not around?"

"Only Christians will get this... Eternal life."

"I like my penises like I like my pizzas large with extra cheese"

"Keith Ape makes his mother a sandwich. She takes a bite and cries with joy. ""This is amazing! What kind of sandwich is this?"" She asks. ""It cheese ma."""

"I once dated a girl that collected magazines. We had to break up because she had too many issues."

"Patient: Doctor! Doctor! My mouth tastes like the bottom of a birdcage! Dentist: Yes, I can see there's been a cockatoo in there."

"How many fingers does the dragonborn have? 8 fingers and 2 Thu""ums... Unless the dragonborn only has a Haafingar"

"What is a pessimists blood type? B-negative."

"I opened Twitter at a red light once, and when I looked up, a week had passed and I was sitting in police impound."