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Joke of the Day
"Where do Russians stream movies from? Nyetflix."
Next Joke
"My sister read '50 Shades of Grey' and relayed some of its explicit content. I pretended to think those things are shocking, too."
"I dropped my phone in the bath. I dropped my phone in the water. I put it in rice to dry out, it works now but i lost all my contacts except for my uncle bens."
"Doctor: i'd like you to step on the scale. Me: You first, pal."
"What kind of soup do men have after sex? Split pee"
"Spider-Man Spider-Man Does whatever a spider can Spins a web Any size Catches thieves Eats those guys Hey wait Don't do that Spider-Man"
"I just got done watching the Lego Movie with my daughter. The premise is so amazing... It makes me wonder why the Mega Blocks movie fell apart."
"My anchor tattoo is so realistic I can't get out of the bathtub."
"How do you unload a truck load of puppies? With a pitchfork"
"John need Taxi John: Hey, man! Please call me a taxi. Steve: Yes, sir. You are a taxi"