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Joke of the Day

"How do you unload a truck load of puppies? With a pitchfork"

"I'm not going to intervene next time my kids start fighting, I'm just going to close the door and whoever comes out alive will be my kid"

"If I can hear you chew, I have fantasized about your death."

"Unable to fall asleep all night from browsing on your iPhone? There's a nap for that."

"A guy walks into a bar Ouch."

"Sometimes giving someone a second chance is like giving them an extra bullet for their gun because they missed the first time."

"What's a rancher's favorite sex position? Doggy style. You can't really do much else to a horse."

"What's black, purple, and hates sex? The kid in my trunk."

"What do call the two midgets who ran an impound lot? Little Seizers"

"CNN has just reported that Monika Lewinski will be helping with the Donald Trump for president campaign. Apparently, the last time she endorsed a Clinton, it left a bad taste in her mouth."