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Joke of the Day

"Hello, Room service? Yes, in order to make my fort structurally sound I'm gonna need 9 more pillows brought to room 355 Bring ice cream too"

"What do you call a deaf dog? It doesn't matter, it can't hear you anyway."

"I wish 'twitter' was an irregular verb so we could conjugate it thusly: twitter, twat, twitten huehue"

"Ronda Rousey is the only MMA fighter I can't fap to. She's the only one that finishes before I do."

"What is the speed limit for sex? 68 . Because at 69 you flip over and eat it."

"No matter who you are or where you come from, all anybody wants in this life is for no one to object to their iTunes mix playing at a party."

"What's a theif's favorite dance move? Poppin' locks"

"How does Princess Leia masturbate? Hand Solo"

"I just voted for Pluto to be a planet again."

"What's the tragedy with little people? They lead such short lives."