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Joke of the Day
"Before Instagram people had to display their photos in fish tanks full of piss."
Next Joke
"Probably the most notable thing about being an adult is not knowing whether you're tired or sad."
"Every time I'm at a friend's house I look at the ceiling & say ""You like to watch, don't you.."" so I look cool if they have a hidden spy cam"
"Went to glasses shop to check my eyes,the worker told me I had estigmatism,I googled it.... Because I was blind on the subject."
"Me: sandwich for lunch? 6yo: noooo!!! Me: how about salami, tomatoes, cheese & bread? 6: YES!! I win."
"Why didn't Jesus play during the Isreal-Palestine soccer game? He got suspended."
"Do I at least get to yell ""Jenga!"" if my life falls apart?"
"I listen to gangsta rap sprinkled with a little Sarah McLachlan. Will I murder you? Will I adopt a puppy with you? You don't know."
"Never trust a big butt and a smile. Where is the rest of this woman's body?"
"What does a british man say when he's about to climax? I'm arriving"